I've been thinking alot about this lately. I have been trying to focus on getting one idea across before I stumble onto something else but I cannot say how terribly, terribly hard it is. I have been waiting for years to get a chance to pursue art full time and I have so many ideas, wants, wishes and stuff to create with that deciding on what I need to work on is almost impossible.
Oh yes, the "Love never dies" is a print of a painting I did long ago, enhanced and turned into, well, whatever I want with it. I am currently offering it as a print and as a notecard but it was really nice to put words to the idea at long last.
Love never dies is a never ending theme with me. My mother died of cancer and she was pretty much an athiest which made her knowledge of her terminal cancer eat at her in a completely different way than that dammed disease ever did. In her eyes I saw fear, and doubt and I watched her lovely blue eyes turn inward, into a place that neither I nor anyone else close to her, could follow. On the day she passed I knew she was gone moments before the phone rang and it was my sister, telling me she was gone. I have incredible faith, not in the traditional way, but in the only way I know and I knew she was okay, and she was set free and that was that. Death to me is never and ending, it's just a transition from one room to another. I didn't learn this in any church, or any book, nor was I ever told this by anyone in this lifetime, that's for sure. I simply brought it with me from someplace else and it's been a truth that has sat in my head for as long as I could think a clear thought. And no, I'm not going to preach anything to anyone :-). I just paint about it sometimes and I try not to give it the dark edge that so much of my artwork always has.
Since I become a full time artist and woman of, well, wantoness, I have been trying to get everything that's been building in my head out.
I think I need to make dolls. With faces. Painting might be a little two-dimensional for faces although I've been doing some face stuff lately too.
The night comes out here on this land and it is so humid and hot a person could literally cut it with a knife. New moon. Very dark. The coyotes will be thick as thieves tonight, along with everything else that comes out here at night to hunt. At night we are the intruders here and the night is filled with the sounds of things hunting, and other things squealing little horrified squeals of finding themselves the hunted. Life is hard in the country, I'm discovering, for alot of creatures. No, make that for most creatures. Sam lays in the grass in front of the porch (which I'm currently sitting on) and stares out at the night, my silent partner.)
When I look at Sam I know that love never dies. When I think of my Mom I know love never dies.
It's a strangely comforting thought, isn't it?
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